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Thanksgiving Facts & Trivia 2017
True and Fake Facts about Thanksgiving for 2017 — or who was the first American president to have a food fight at Thanksgiving?
By Byron Belzak, DowntownAsheville.com
In keeping with the times, it must be said that as one researches the topic of Thanksgiving Facts and Trivia online, there are a number of varying facts, depending on the website you visit.
For example, one site might say that Pres. Truman was the first to pardon a turkey, while another says it was Pres. George H.W. Bush, and a third site gets so detailed about who did what that you're just not sure what they just told you.
In other words, just keep in mind that the following Thanksgiving Fun Facts and Trivia may not be exactly on the mark.
However, hopefully by next Thanksgiving, MediaBear, publisher of DowntownAsheville.com, will have done more research to give a definitive thumbs up or thumbs down on specific items presented here that may or may not have different answers.
In the meantime, enjoy Thanksgiving this 2017 for what it's meant to be: a pig-out with turkey surrounded by people you may or may not want to have dinner with.
And by all means, don't discuss politics this year or your turkey time may become a food fight. But speaking of food fight... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... (that's White House morse code for "Pass the beef, moron.")
Food Fight at the White House Predicted for 2017
So here's a real news prediction, brought to you by DowntownAsheville.com, which was FIRST IN THE NATION AND FIRST IN THE WORLD TO TELL YOU THIS... that... the Very, Very Most Important and Best Ever President in the History of the Nation and the Very, Very Best Leader in the History of the World, you know, Pres. What's His Name with the Small Hands might just become the first U.S. President to declare that it's okay to have a food fight with any leftovers as opposed to putting them in the freezer, because who likes turkey and cranberries the day after anyway?
And to amplify his ("his" with a small H not a capital H) perspective and belief in humor that he is first at everything, DowntownAsheville.com is predicting that President What's his Name With the Small Hands will be absolutely, positively the first American president to not only have the first and biggest ever in the history of the world food fight at the White House table, but will be the first Very, Very Greatest U.S. President to throw the first leftover at the head of his Vice President. Smack dab, got him good! Just kidding! Come on folks, Thanksgiving is for giving thanks and for saving the leftovers.
Oh, yeah, and Thanksgiving across America is strictly for being very, very blessed and for enjoying your all-American First folks around your table that you love and the others who are, well, you know, family.
Bless His Heart
As they say in the South about their favorite President What's His Name with the lapel button that says, "My Best Friend Is Putin"... ... ... well, like they say in the South... ... ... "Bless his heart."
Oh, yeah, can't forget this: FOOD FIGHT, EVERYBODY! IT'S A WHITE HOUSE FIRST! But no picture taking allowed. And no hitting anybody for taking pictures, like Mr. Used to Be the Personal Bodyguard of the President Keith "I Didn't See Nobody Take Even One Ruble in the Moscow Hotel Hallway" Schiller was known for doing.
Anywhoooo... now on with more real — and maybe fake — Thanksgiving Facts and Trivia of 2017 so you can be politically correct and have a, as un-American liberals like to call it, a LEARNING moment around your food-fight-less Thanksgiving Table, because like my family and I, we save turkey and cranberry leftovers. Not!
Because Pres. What's his Name with the Small Hands is, or will soon be, the best at having the biggest ever in the world food fight with leftovers even though people are starving in China or the U.S. or somewhere, but who cares because they don't believe in God and aren't good Americans.
Anywhooooo... here's some additional real or fake trivia. We'll sort it out by 2018. And smile, you're on (honest, you are) NSA Camera — used to be Candid Camera, remember?
But none of us Americans laugh anymore because life's very, very serious, because there are nukes to drop on folks somewhere, because why else would you have them if you aren't going to use them, and that's honest, believe me, according to Pres. What's His Name with Little Itchy Fingers for Big Red Buttons.
So with that thought in mind, let's get back to what's truly important at this time of year: Thanksgiving Fun Facts and Trivia 2017, before President Pence (oooops, that's still a secret) will be overseeing the White House Thanksgiving celebration in 2018, but it won't be as big or a great as the Very, Very Best Thanksgiving and Presidential Food Fight in the White House Ever as it was in 2017. You'll see... maybe. Not!
"17 fascinating things you never knew about Thanksgiving" | Presented by Goodhousekeeping.com, here's a sampling: About 46 million turkeys are cooked on Thanksgiving every year in America; in 1989 Pres. George H.W. Bush was the first U.S. President to pardon a turkey, and that tradition has continued, so far, through Pres. Barack Obama; there are four places in the U.S. named Turkey and seven places named Cranberry; the Butterball Turkey Talk Line answers almost 100,000 calls every season | Read More>
Interesting Facts about Thanksgiving in America
Thanksgiving was the third official national holiday enacted by the U.S. Congress, and it was done in 1863 under Pres. Lincoln. The only other two national holidays had been Washington's Birthday (now renamed Presidents Day) and Independence Day, reports Calendar-12.com | Read more>
Thanksgiving according to Wikipedia
Now what would any research about anything on the internet be, including Thanksgiving Day Facts, without a shout out and a link to Wikipedia, bless their hearts | For what it's worth about who around the world celebrates Thanksgiving, according to Wikipedia.com | Read More>
Thanksgiving at the White House
The following info is about a real interesting historical account, compliments of the White House Historical Association at Whitehousehistory.org. Honest, believe me. It's complete with dates, nice write-ups, and a number of snappy black-and-white photos that highlight the White House's ongoing involvement in celebrating Thanksgiving. It's not for morons. It's for real. | Read More>
Last thoughts and predictions
Someone will leak photos of this year's White House holiday bash and food fight, and it will be very, very historic when President What's His Name with the Small Hands holds up a poster-sized signed Executive Order that abolishes Thanksgiving as an official national holiday, and renames it Black Thursday to go along with Black Friday.
Come on folks. Kidding. Just kidding here. Because we still pray. We still read, too. And we still have manners, yo? You can find bumper stickers saying that around Asheville. Seriously.
But trust me, believe me, the food fight at the White House this Thanksgiving will be so very, very presidential. Times change, and so do traditions.
However, the candied yams will be saved; to do otherwise would be truly un-American. In fact, banning yams from being used in the White House Thanksgiving Food Fight will be immortalized in a new Executive Order, albeit short but sweet, as such: "Keep them yams. They're leftovers. Believe me."
But everything else around the White House thanksgiving table this year? You can throw out. Believe me. We still pray.
You read it here first.
Copyright 2017 MediaBear, publisher of DowntownAsheville.com, because fake news matters, sometimes, and it's called humor